Things I learned from the "Sitch"

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is releasing his lifestyle guide, "Here's the Situation", on Nov. 2nd.  The paperback features illustrations on proper ab maintenance and a "one-night stand checklist" which includes such tips as, "The best sex is often with a grenades (ugly women) -- because she's so grateful."   There's even a prayer: "God grant me the stamina to satisfy hot chicks, the courage to deny grenades, and the wisdom to know the difference." 

Other things I, Atom Smasher learned from the "Sitch"

1.  Having a nickname isn't douchey enough.  You now need to give your nickname a nickname.

2.  There's never an occasion that you can't  wear Ed Hardy sweat pants to.

3.  Shaving designs in your head really can express your personality.  You're really ignorant, douchey, awful personality.

4.  No girl is too trashy as long as you sterilize the hot tub at 200 degrees.