10 Drinks NO man should order
No.10 A drink with a name you can't pronounce. A man should never order a drink he can't pronounce.
No.9 Malibu & Diet Coke Malibu, as a rule, is a horrible beverage. Diet Coke, moreover, is a soda for weight-conscious administrative assistants. The two together are like a typhoon of emasculation.
No.8 Fuzzy Navel. Ah, peach Schnapps. You tortured us for one night in high school, and we never made the same mistake again. Do we need to repeat ourselves? Peach Schnapps: Not suitable for drinking after high school.
No.7 Non-martini "tini." A few years ago, the martini craze spawned an ungodly swarm of "tini" cocktails that have no business associating themselves with the classic beverage. Stick with the classic or avoid martini glasses altogether.
No.6 "What she's having." Unless your date is having a Scotch on the rocks -- and if she is, you've probably found a keeper -- order your own thing.
No.5 Whatever you want. Being a man is about doing what you want... Drink whatever (you) like... and don't give a thing about what others say. This is a valid point, despite the fact that it goes against the entire thrust of this list. There's a case to be made that a man truly comfortable with himself can sip whatever drink he pleases, all while wearing a pink shirt and driving shoes without socks. Most of us aren't that guy, but he's out there, and he's drinking a Bay Breeze. And liking it.
No.4 Sex on the Beach. Hands down the infamous Sex on the Beach. It's got the makings of the complete opposite of masculinity... Sex on the Beach? Just hearing that makes me wanna watch a football game and smack someone with a halibut.
No.3 Any Alcopop. Any sort of clear malt beverage flavored like fruit is out of the question -- Bacardi Silver, Smirnoff Ice, Mike's Hard Lemonade, etc. Alcoholic sodas are not only deeply unmanly, but they're for lazy people who can't even bother to mix their own drinks. In this age of brilliant mixology, these convenience-store travesties are even more inexcusable.
No.2 Appletini. If it ends in -tini, there's only one thing it's supposed to be. We don't care whether you make your martini with vodka or gin, just don't make it with Apple Pucker.
No.1 Cosmopolitan. Never, ever order a Cosmo. Cosmos go down a little too easy for comfort. If you're looking for a reddish cocktail served in a martini glass, order yourself a Manhattan and toast yourself for being a man.